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Comments from JadeM
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2011-07-01 22:27:50 | Freshman Year part 1 | This is a very good effort on your part. You should be very pleased with this first effort. You did not go directly to sex, there was buildup. I agree with another comment that this could have many chapters. So many thing happen at college ;) |
| 2011-07-01 22:49:11 | Freshman Year part 2 | I think the structure suggestion has been made. It is something that is particularly kind to people reading on their computers, which all of us are. As to direction, I agree with an earlier suggestion, he should be dating her and then allow experimentation/party brain to take over and he ends up in a threesome with her and the roommate. That would work quite well. Do not forget, in future chapters you can branch into other areas. You have a very good 1st and 2nd Chapter. You can go many places and do very well for having just started. All the best and good luck |
| 2011-07-05 04:09:39 | Broken Curfew | A very well written story. I cannot understand why someone would be angered when they have chosen to ignore content tags. They then act outraged, almost surprised that an incest story.... omg..... had incest in it! Corbie, I enjoyed this very much. I just wanted to let you know! |
| 2011-07-05 04:19:02 | Pet Teacher | That made me hot. Well written and very kinky fantasy she had. I can see why you chose to write this. Amazing work, I wish you would write more! |
| 2011-10-19 09:45:48 | May-Ling the Litle Chinese American part 1 | Hello. I read your story as requested, and thank you for asking. The premise was very good. It is your first story and I am not going to repeat comments already made. You tried very hard to explore the emotional/motivational side of the story. It was a great first attempt. One idea that was not mentioned is asking someone else to proof read for you. As English is my second language I have to say that spell check sometimes misses words... such as "rite" (a religious ceremony for example) and "Right" (a direction or correct statement for example). Just ask someone to proof read and that will eliminate a lot of the issues the anonymous people are complaining about. It did make the read challenging, and I have had to learn this myself, but don't get discouraged. Simply ask yourself... what have they written? Was it flawless? I make lots of mistakes and will continue to do so. Don't stop writing... keep up the effort and believe in yourself. |