sexstories.com
Comments from animal99
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2013-04-01 10:22:23 | My sister Alicia | For a short story, this was good... but I agree with your other reviews, it was TOO short... and you really need to learn to use Spell Check and a find a reliable Grammar checker if you don't have someone who can do it for you. In it's core, you demonstrate a knowledge of how to tell a story but it's almost too rushed... like you were hurrying to get to the sex stuff. Great Sex is in the brain... As a reader, the story has to turn me on to sex long before the sex happens. As a writer, you can't hurry to get to the physical sex... get a fire going in your reader thru your characters' actions, thoughts and movements.... think of it as two people meeting for a dance... first they meet, size each other up, approach, start dancing slow then gradually speed up as the music overtakes them. Despite what people wrote, it isn't a BAD story.. i've read a lot worse on this site... but it isn't FAR from the bottom, simply because you rushed yourself. I say - revise your story. |
| 2013-04-01 10:25:32 | Alyssa Learns (: | Good but too short. Your characters deserve a better, long-er story... let their feelings brew before being their actions to a boil (sex). |
| 2013-04-01 10:47:26 | Secret lover | Good story.. Any more stories in there waiting to come out? I can't wait to read more of your stories. |
| 2013-04-03 11:27:36 | great story... 2nd chapter? | |
| 2013-04-03 11:33:43 | great story.... too bad she doesn't get him again |