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Comments from JohnThomas63118
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2014-05-14 22:11:14 | Struck by Lightning Part 2 | First, this is a good story and imagining, a very nice start to a possible great serial. I would suggest keeping to one perspective at a time. Changing from 1st to 3rd should be avoided but if you going to do it start a new paragraph each time. I would also consider quote from other people time in different paragraphs as well. If you going to have two different type of quotes use different methods from speech quotes from mental quotes. To help the reader to understand or realize how the message is being delivered. My sister said, “good night,” as she closed the door. I heard in her mind, ‘god he so cute and I just want to fuck his brains out.’ The double is heard and the single is thoughts. Only a suggestion. I hope you continue you story I will like to follow this as it progress. |
| 2014-10-04 19:08:45 | ORCS ELFS HUMANS & more: Pleasure, Passion and Love (Chapter 2) | I hope you choose to continue with your writing. Regardless you should write what you want but label what ever you write so those that don't care for don't have to read it. I like the story so far please keep it up. I truly believe the story goes where the story goes. Have fun be creative just keep going. |
| 2017-08-28 12:54:39 | The Collar 4 | Love the premise of this series. I have been hoping you would continue with it for some time. I hope you continue with him wrestling with the ethinics of the device. I liked what you did the the drunk in chapter 2, and the two college interns in chapter 3. I also enjoy what you did in this chapter with the drugged out prostitute here, but you now need to deal with her 'boyfriend'/pump. His wife programing needs to be fixed is she his going to be his loving wife slave or will he now become a harden master because of been to close the collar and she just become his head slave that he is married to? Or will Lily somehow arrange to have James reprogrammed to be return to her loving master husband that he was? There is so many way this can go, I can not wait to find out, please continue this series. |
| 2016-06-22 00:23:03 | Mistress in the Making | This is a good story, hope you continue with the story line and I do want to see Layla follow in her Aunt Mary's path and become her apprentice. Like to see Amanda succumbing to Layla as well as becoming Laura other mistress. |
| 2016-06-22 22:34:39 | Over the Line | Very Good, nice description of the environment, the whole sense of being frown down upon even though you are successful in your field. The story may be a fantasy but what it say about a domineering person needing or the desire to brought down a peg or two regardless of the sex is good. |