| 2018-07-18 07:03:43 |
Wrestling with my sister_(1)
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BashfulScribe beat me to it. The story was gold. I was being teased and loving it. Then all of a sudden it turned into a mindless porno like blow job. I was like no no no, make it a dream. Our dreams might rush to a conclusion but reality with the awkwardness of an incestuous relationship is expected to be slow. Sure they both have urges but they're both reluctant for the obvious reason. The story of overcoming that reluctance is the essence of the story imo. Dropping all reluctance suddenly with one of the characters is like if an Avenger caught a stray bullet and died all of a sudden in the middle of a battle, and that was just it for that character. It could happen. It's mildly intriguing, but kinda a bummer. Lost potential. You were building and building and building and then rushed it... she was beautiful, I'd never seen a girl like her. I hesitated to say hi. Wow, I'm not usually that awkward with women. And then she took my whole dick in he |
| 2018-07-18 07:06:09 |
Wrestling with my sister_(1)
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Post got cut off. ** and then she took my whole dick in her mouth. Bit of a jump |
| 2018-07-18 07:12:34 |
Wrestling with my sister_(1)
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I understand the need to get the sex in. That is important imo. And a dream scenario works. Or if the mystery girl gave him the blow job, that would work. The treasure at the end of the rainbow is the incest. Let the journey go on for awhile with some great side quests along the way to get the sex in when you feel necessary. |
| 2018-07-20 19:14:15 |
Potential Part 25
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Sorry, "bistander, potential, nifty" are the keywords I put into google that bring up your story. As for sex scenes not advancing the plot, I disagree. They achieve two things. One, they add the great element of sex to the stories which is what we came to a sex story site to read. The sex scenes are the marshmallows of the Lucky Charms, and you don't just want 1 of each marshmallow. They might not add that much extra flavor, but they provide the experience we're looking for and drive the continued reading. Secondly, the provide us a deeper level of understanding of the relationship held between the characters. Sex one time with the same partner is a fling? an accident? a regretted mistake? Sex twice with the same partner, is there something developing? Sex every couple chapters with the same partner, there's a real connection building here. I think you've done a beautiful job of identifying relationships between the characters with the sex. |
| 2018-07-26 07:04:06 |
Ultimate Interface 1.0_(2)
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Kinda like a writing hack as well. How do I write in that he becomes able to do this remotely? The computer (remotely) reads his mind and provides him a remote. A remote That is voice and thought activated? Almost the equivalent to writing, one day i became a minor god all of a sudden. Which would make slightly more sense really. Then he was face fucking and she ends up dripping cum from her pussy? Confused. I did like it. I just had to ignore the glaring plot development flaws. Taken with a sense of humor and urgency for sex content, it was quite good. |