2017-05-11 10:52:11 |
The Existence - Chapter 2
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Most enthralling and intriguing story I have read for some time; must agree that you may have a future in screen-play writing. Just a minor point: the "staff" need to be trained/practised until all their actions become conditioned reflexes, perhaps you could explain/show this via training sessions. Guys don't become fluent unless practised. |
2017-05-18 12:12:21 |
Picture Day
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Yeah, gotta agree about the 11 incher, a freak on a kid. |
2017-05-23 05:31:42 |
Welt ~ 1
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Hmmmmm, interesting writing, intense vocabulary and style, almost like punchy TV reporting, yet still non-hacknied and precise. Will be interesting to see if the style is retained. |
2017-05-23 05:58:00 |
Welt ~ 2
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Well, well. This has become psychotically themed - illusions, hallucinations, mind reading, etc etc. But the writing remains the same. |
2017-05-23 06:19:52 |
Welt ~ 3
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Oh, well, he's let the psychosis run riot, and created chaos. |