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Comments from Dudley Dowrong
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2018-07-25 21:55:17 | My boss' wife--my kids | The way it started, I expected Bob to fuck every wife of the geo staff. Still a great story as it worked out. I once was seduced by a motel clerk while I was in sales seeing customers monthly making rounds. She & I stayed in touch & fucked for 9 yrs. During that time my 1st wife passed because of diabetes & we haven't seen each other since I've remarried. Kinda expected her to marry me, but she preferred the "single" life it seemed. Plan to write about our experience using AKA to protect the guilty. |
| 2018-07-25 22:52:48 | DADDY CUMS | I have to agree with most of the comments so far. If you've had a chance to read other authors, See how they paragraph. Also, when they change character voice, they make it more clear than U have. Check it out. A good example is author "mypenname3000" One of his stories is about a "Harem" There he has done a good job with paragraphs, changing Character voicing, everything U've done here except his is a little easier & clearer changes, etc. Your scenario is great, The potential of how the series can go is superb. Not sure how U can pull it off but Dad & the Tennis Coach have to DP Mom, (if that is her fantasy with 2 guys) hopefully with the girls watching. That will be hot. |
| 2018-07-26 02:17:46 | "SEDUCING OUR SONS" | Title doesn't match story. U never described Lena fucking Danny or Edie fucking Pete. They seduced the neighbors sons, not their own. Deions are good. It's weird to me that Lena wants to fuck the neighborhood but doesn't want May to enjoy anything but showing off. To me it's confusing the way U change character narrations. I have to reread some of the previous material to see "Who's talking. |
| 2018-07-26 02:41:49 | "WATCHING PORN with our mom" | That's 2 mistitled stories. Mom did see what they had watched but the title says "Watching Porn with our Mom" I would expect mom & kids sitting watching & probably discussing what's happening on screen and each one expressing their likes or dislikes as to what they see. Then it's said, "Let's try that & see how it fields." That didn't happen. Said earlier, My advice is mute, this story is 5 yo !!. |
| 2018-07-26 10:14:12 | "MOMS GIRLFRIENDS SECRET" | Good deion of the action. Excellent background to prep for"heimie" The problem with this work is the character voicing or nararatsion, I still have problems with the way U change character voicing. "Who's talking, now" Ur method just doesn't work for me. I get confused..Scenarios, plots, most deions are all good. U show excellent creativity. Hopefully U will settle the issue of this voicing :(person takling) to make your works much more enjoyable for the reader. That's why U write, to entertain or educate the reader. |