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Comments from Dudley Dowrong
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2018-07-28 19:09:28 | Working Overtime- Part 1 | Excellent plot & story. Classified as true, it so far is quiet believable. Chubby girls (& guys) realize it & appreciate any attention they get. Just because they loose weight, their mind set may not change. This seems to be thhe caase here. Egar to see how U play it out |
| 2018-07-28 20:25:17 | Brad & Cassie | Good example of any bro/sis dilemma in close quarters at the teen awakening age. Very realistic. Excellent scenario! |
| 2018-07-29 13:54:45 | Orgies Can Solve All Kinds of Problems | Excellent scenario. One place I had to read twice because I went tnru it the 1st time too fast, & thought Tia were a She/male. The 2nd time I got it. The way U did the multiple groups twice is not only off-the-wall & outragously sexy & HOT. Both were well described in easy to understand detali. Congratulations on a job well done. Other comments are correct in use of paragraphs. More spacing would have made it much easier for the reader to understand story flow.. With another guy on the scene one girl taking 1 dick in each hole would have been have been a hot addition. Why don't U write a sequal of a sextet or octet fuck fest with 3 or 4 guys & 4-5 girls. I think with your deion skills, U can do it. Roger, Amy, Kevin & Tia are musts, probably Eve & Cassie, too. Add a clean, swinging couple (neighbors or co-workers).Space paragraphs |
| 2018-07-29 15:02:47 | An incest birthday | There were a few obvious errors, but the scenario is great. Most of Ur deions were in great detail (good), Spacing paragraphs & dialogue made the story flow & reading much more delightful. Here, U show much promise of good authorship. Just think more as U proofread to clear up errors.Looking forward to future parts! |
| 2018-07-29 22:06:49 | Update with my wife and her dad | My comments didn't post. Good scenario written by jack. Maybe shorter paragraphs would make reading easier. Thanks for sharing Ur experience & update. |