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Comments from darthel0101
Date | Story title | Comment |
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2012-11-19 07:20:29 | The Ten of Them. Chapter 1 | I apologize for what might seem to be a strictly negative comment but I could not help but laugh when I read - Mom has Pavarotti following her. I THINK the term that you were wanting to use is paparazzi as Luciano is extremely unlikely to be a stalker. Other than the occasional misuse of a word (like above), your stories are VERY enjoyable with extremely good character and plot development |
2012-11-19 08:21:16 | The Ten of Them Chapter 2 | Dragon explains the issue behind my comment in the earlier chapter - LOL. The only problem is that you need a grammar checker as well as a spell checker when using it. Good luck and I enjoy your works |
2012-11-21 13:16:53 | Stacey and Kelly | I have a few suggestions to make it more palatable to read. Use paragraphs when changing speakers during dialogue and double-space the paragraphs to make them easier to track. Use capitalization properly and avoid text-speak in your narration. Use punctuation properly to break up sentences at the phrase marks. Following those suggestions will make your stories easier to read and possibly garner more readers and comments to assist in developing your writing voice. |
2012-11-26 00:54:34 | The Niece, The Wife, and Their Needs Pt 1 | This was a good read. It'd be interesting to read of the various encounters with the dane. |
2012-11-27 09:28:06 | The Chair_(2) | just re-read this story for about the fifth time and I think that the only way to have improved the humor (inside joke style) would be to drop the number from 47 to 42. Make Douglas Adams spin in his grave laughing at the new interpretation of that answer. |