| 2011-02-19 22:13:07 |
|
Oooooohhhh YES!!! Sexfight stories are so hot, and this one's really good - I could imagine it and it got me pretty wet. They've got each other off so much it's a pity that at the end they don't decide to go home together and forget Carlos! Also, I wish the owner/observer was an older woman and got herself off with a vibrator watching them ... but then I'm an all-girl girl, so that's what does it for me. Anyhow, welcome honey, you write really well, so please do some more lez stories. This one's going in my favourites as well. |
| 2011-02-19 22:27:24 |
|
I love inter-racial lesbian stories, and power-plays where the older boss bitch calls the shots - so you hit two of my g-spots sure and hard! Good story, good description: another one that's short, neat and hot hot hot!! |
| 2011-03-21 22:30:47 |
Sarah and miss Summers
|
There are some good things with this story - the basic idea is quite hot - but some others that don't really add up and make it unconvincing. You make Sarah very physically attractive, and yet say that the boys don't notice her, and whilst the bit with the golf balls is sexy, still she wouldn't be able to walk around all day with those in her pussy and ass. I know the stories are fantasies, but believable fantasy is much sexier than unbelievable ones. You need to be careful with simple things like continuity, for example where the teacher is age 31 in the first paragraph but 22 later on. Also it makes the story easier to read if you spell-check it before posting, and get capitals and punctuation right, plus something odd has happened to the line-breaks. It's a promising start, and I'm interested to see where you go with this next. |
| 2011-03-21 22:44:30 |
Let me taste you
|
A real turn-on: the set-up is interesting and the description of the sex is really well done - you are quite a stylist, with a lovely vocabularly, lots of variety and some really lyrical phrases. I'm adding this to my favourites (where you'll find other hot lesbian stories!) for the writing most of all, and you certainly got me wet! The one thing that puzzles me is that you have tagged the story as 'black', yet I don't think you actually say that about either of the women - is one of them black and it's inter-racial, or are they both? Actually, you don't describe them very much - no hair color either. That does get the story moving, but personally I'd like a bit more description of both characters. Perhaps in your next story ... because please do keep writing! |
| 2011-05-07 21:56:02 |
Lady in Blue
|
Lovely story, really nice description & some HOT sex ... you got me going, thanks! I've added this one to my favourites list. |