| 2012-09-11 20:53:36 |
Duquan's sister problem Chapter 1
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The language was a little hard to follow really... but it was a good story |
| 2013-01-11 21:53:19 |
Moms Club the First Saturday
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really really need to work on your structure it makes it damn hard to read.. |
| 2013-05-23 21:35:14 |
Take it All, My King
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Wow where to begin break up your story paragraphs are your friend. Giant wall of text is not your friend. Got a headache after the first break. Keep trying |
| 2013-09-27 00:31:07 |
Chapter I -- Amy_(1)
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You nailed Erotic... Good job! |
| 2013-09-27 00:34:37 |
Chapter II -- Mark
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Structure... you lost structure with your dialogue... Other than that I have no issue with your formatting... Oh sorry forgot to tell you I was trying to give you a critique... shit to work on the next time round... you understand. |