| 2012-03-14 15:01:45 |
THE FIRST TIME COUPLE: Part 1
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meforyou. Another great story. Good layout and easy to read. Also no obvious mistakes in spelling or grammer. I like how you put in the emotion, anxiety. and nervousness of first time love. I just wish I could still remember my first time. Ha Ha Most of your stories have this trait of feelings. Good job. Keep writing. |
| 2012-03-14 15:05:21 |
THE FIRST TIME COUPLE: Part 1
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Here in Belize and Guatemala, our schools are called college at what is nomally called high school in the US. University here is the same as college there. |
| 2012-03-14 15:26:06 |
Kim's adventure
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You know when you stop to think about it, it is cheaper this way than spending a hundred for dinner and drinks, and the most expensive--gasoline--. And a sure thing. Nooo I still like the old fashion way with a little romance and loving. Not to mention an hour or so of foreplay. I will keep it like it is, even if my wife is ten times as expensive. |
| 2012-03-14 18:59:40 |
Black Neighbor Baby Sitter Part Four
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I liked your series of stories. At least everything is consensual. Good detail in your descriptions of the two having sex. Hot scenes. Please do not push the little daughter too much. Might be crossing the line of decency. Just my opinion. I love the rest of the story. Keep going. |
| 2012-03-15 11:41:02 |
Lightning ch 1
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Interesting story concept, but you sentence structure is a little rough. A few spelling and grammer errors too. Break up you paragraphs and separate them with spacing to make it easier to read. Some of your thoughts jump around so try to think through the idea and make it a little clearer. You have characters that can take this story in many different directions. Continue and with patience you can make a great story. Thanks for a new approach. |