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Comments from throatHER
Date | Story title | Comment |
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2019-08-03 09:16:11 | Tell Mommy What You Want_(1) | Well told tale. Very good writing with just the right amount of sexual tension that pulls the reader in. Bravo! |
2019-08-09 02:04:47 | What a Difference a Summer Makes- Part 4a | I'm sorry guys but there is a lot going on right now. New job, kids going back to school, etc. I'm trying to get this next Part out. Doing a lot of re-writes and editing. Sorry for the delay |
2019-08-12 07:56:36 | My Wife wants to be a Sex Slave | Hello GhostWolf, I really think you would benefit from someone editing your story. It is quite a difficult read. I got about one-third into it and stopped. While the premise of your story is a good one, even if cliche, it does not flow well from a a reading standpoint. You start with going from first person to third. Then it goes into Will says then Laura says then Will smile then Laura nods. If a scene just has the two people then you may break it down to He says then she nods. Using their name each time is not necessary. You are a frequent reader of others works on this site. Take notes on how they write and make their stories flow. This will be quite beneficial to your future works. My style is in the same vain as Jashley, Bashful Scribe and of course my all-time favorite author Rhiannon Maybe also try and read your story out loud to yourself to see what changes can be made. Edit this story and post it Again. Good luck to you |
2019-08-14 20:23:17 | Shagging in the Confession Box | So... This story got posted 7 hours ago and has 76,000 views and 393 votes! Lol I am Legion, anyone? Lmfao |
2019-08-14 20:26:45 | Shagging in the Confession Box | Lol... Decent story |