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Comments from Dudley Dowrong
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2018-07-13 23:14:04 | Family Brothel 2 by Darklord9895 | Yes, as good or better as the 1st 2 installments (this is #2). A few places, a letter to complete the word was missing. Proofreading miss thoes. I see that our minds work alike to bring in Jenna's friend. to expand business. Being Kelly was an unknown,her addition was a surprise. Does Greg have to satisfy all of them if the clients don't? What a chore! |
| 2018-07-14 11:36:10 | A Family Affair_(1) | Unusual Exhibitionism, She didn't mind Kev watching she & Son or having them participate together, but I don't remember Son watching she & Kev together (maybe I missed it).. Son heard it but I got the impression that Son was not invited to watch or participate. A few places a word was incomplete (letters missing). I had wished the paragraphs not so long for easier reading.. Story line was easy to follow except loosing my place in the paragraph. Great presentation. Keep up the use of your talent. Look forward to more in the future. Thanks! |
| 2018-07-14 18:25:37 | Seducing My Son_(2) | A better approach than many to "help" an young man become more confident. I especially liked the way you paragraphed dialogue & ideas. Too many jamb too much in a paragraph with several conversational dialogues that makes it difficult to follow. That detracts from the overall enjoyment of the story. Looking forward to how the "training" progresses. |
| 2018-07-14 19:04:37 | Family Brothel 3 By Darklord9895 | Considering your linguistic background, you are doing good. I suggest to have a better English student than yourself (that you trust) to proofread the entries before you post them. I actually see no major errors at all but several small ones that cause a distraction from smooth, easy reading. To continue the story, they could sell videos (with performers permission) as "amature from a whore house for real" and further increase their income. Cherokee Tracker, you realize that if you don't have some male hookers in your stock, you are open to sexual discrimination. I look forward to reading more of your creations in the future. Thanks for sharing. The more you write, the easier & better it becomes. I read again the last part of the story, the three of them could make all kinds of videos without "permission release" from clients to sell their videos. Make that "another story" |
| 2018-07-14 21:03:41 | Seducing My Son 5 | Fantastic, Now Son needs to get a girlfriend so they can share a foursome and watch the girls 69 just like they did for the girls. |