sexstories.com
Comments from WantSumCandyLittleGirl
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2011-06-12 09:45:19 | A weekend with My hrony girlfriend | Again, this is another prime example why your parents should put you back in English all over again. Of course, it could also be that you're just a schmuck. As for your sexcapades - yeah, right. Nice try claiming use of proteins. More like a wild imagination. |
| 2011-07-09 21:04:01 | Our Family and My Sisters Friends | Good story line - bad grammar and spelling. |
| 2011-11-26 09:46:18 | Cassies first time 1 | I'll give you positive rating, but only because the story has promise. You need to space out your paragraphs, will make for easier reading. There are some punctuation issues and some grammar and sentence structure issues. But, as I said, the story has promise - we'll see how Chapter 2 turns out. |
| 2011-11-26 09:49:59 | Cassies first time 2 | Again with the spacing problems. You really need to work on your writing some, add spaces between paragraphs, improve typing and grammar errors, and work on the overall sentence structure. Now for the story. Yes, Chapter 2 was pretty well written, considering it is supposedly from the girl's point of view but written by a man. There's more to the whole sexual awakening of a girl that age, though, and you didn't cover any of it. What - suddenly after moving in with her Uncle she gets the urge? No prior development to that part of the story, which I would have loved to have read. All in all, though, not bad. You have potential. Looking forward to more from you. |
| 2011-11-26 09:56:20 | Vacation with Family_(1) | Ok, spelling errors - Ava or Eva? Remebering? ewe? Then we get to the grammar and sentence structure - horrid. We won't even start in on the lack of paragraphs. For a "44 yr old" man, you write like a 14 yr old boy. Wouldn't surprise me to find out you were. Go back to school - learn to write and learn proper grammar and story writing. Oh, by the way - this story sucked big time. |