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Comments from WantSumCandyLittleGirl
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2012-02-07 17:17:06 | daddies fall pt 1 | Ok, you want feedback, you get feedback. Insufficient formatting, no spaces between the paragraphs, totally disjointed story, rambles from subject to subject with no ease of flow. If I had to grade this, I would say go back to middle school and relearn English and proper grammar. Yes, I said it - grammar. Keep the story and characters straight, set up a plot, develop the plot, create smooth transitions, etc etc etc. Sorry ,dude, but you asked for feedback. This was horrid. Unless you improve, I just can't see reading any more of your writing. Think about getting a proof reader - they might actually help you with the whole process. |
| 2012-02-13 16:31:16 | Sara's Protective Dad part 1 corrected | What a total waste of time this story series is. I read this chapter then went to Chapter 2 hoping for improvement only to be sorely disappointed at the totally preposterous plot. And to top it off, readers cannot make comments on the bullshit after Chapter 1. To start, there is absolutely no way a 19 year old will ever be the Executive Producer of a major motion picture. So you get negative points for that. Then you also expect us to also accept the father is also a black belt and can handle 3 punks without a sweat? Then there are all the horrendous spelling, grammar, punctuation, and formatting issues. If anyone actually likes the fact that you cannot even use semi-good English, then they are just as stupid as you are. Your writing sucks - period. End of story. If you are just now finishing Chapter 1, do not waste your time on the rest. He's just a bad writer with a large audience. |
| 2012-02-18 16:14:31 | Family Games - Chap 2 | No - it is not plagiarized - it is copied. I never claimed it as mine. To be honest, the author of the copy I have is Jolene Homes. Obviously a pseudonym. |
| 2012-02-18 16:16:17 | Family Games - Chap 1 | No - it is not plagiarized - it is copied. I never claimed it as mine. To be honest, the author of the copy I have is Jolene Homes. Obviously a pseudonym. |
| 2012-02-20 06:45:29 | Family Games - Chap 2 | So, Mr Anonymous - you think the one posted on lushtories.com is the original? Check out: neatopotato.net/xnovel/bee6084a-incest-games Sonnick is the one you should be going after for plagiarism. And, so you know, the originally published story was part of a double novel with Unnatural Acts. But, I did additional research and determined the original name of the story was going to be Family Games. I never claimed it was my story - and I NEVER CHANGED A WORD. What now, Mr Anonymous? |