| 2021-05-10 22:47:00 |
Siblings Desire
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To echo working212, this story jumps between past and present tense. You need to choose to tell the story as it IS happening or as it DID happen. I would also suggest using a grammar checker (Grammarly is an excellent choice and is free) to help with spelling and punctuation. It was a good story, just needs a little work. |
| 2021-05-13 20:11:54 |
Little Olivia IV
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I have enjoyed this series and look forward to reading many more chapters and adventures of this family during their sexual journey together. I would only request you make sure to proofread carefully. |
| 2021-05-14 02:27:10 |
Wife used to pay husbands depts
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Your name fits - nimrod - as only nimrods submit stories with spell checking. It’s debts - not depts. |
| 2021-06-12 22:36:18 |
My Old Next-Door Neighbor Nurse.
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While the story itself is good, the mechanics need work. |
| 2021-05-15 01:36:30 |
Golden Lake
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While this is a good story, it could be improved with some proofreading for spelling, grammar, and tense changes. I would also suggest breaking up the paragraphs so when the subject changes a new paragraph begins. Lastly, separate the dialogue by speaker and put a line break between the speakers. |