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Comments from Dudley Dowrong
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2019-04-07 13:01:53 | My downward spiral to a becoming a slut Chapter 7 – Rape | All the comments reinforce what I've already said. Liz shows a true love with or without sex. She thinks "What's best for Tori" and does accordingly or at least recommends that action. When Tori insisted alternative path, Liz allowed it because she respected Tori's need to keep the abuse from her Mother's knowledge. That respect is part of the love she has for Tori. Where is the love or respect Scott shows Tori? Ur detail descriptions of this horrible rape by a "teacher/coach" who does what's best for a students training. He has surely seemed to teach Scott how to be just like himself, cruel, mean, hateful, & self serving no mater who get's hurt. As before the content is horrific, but your choice of words, grammar,(in context) & descriptions are putting the reader in the middle of the action, even feeling the whacks & bites & cringing in distaste, if not a touch of pain for Tori. I understand "Liz" being mat at Tori for not standing up for herself & allowing Scott to abuse. |
| 2019-04-07 15:00:45 | My downward spiral to a becoming a slut Chapter 8 – Exam at the hospital | The content concerning our "heroine"or victim, Tori ("Liz" or Elizabeth being the real heroine) is alarming That a human could be so mean & uncaring to anyone like Scott & "Coach" to another human. I agree with comments concerning Ur talent, making this a novel, I remember while in High School, reading "The Return of the Native" by Thomas Hardy, an English author. I would rate U right up there with this classic author. His description of the landscape, people, (physical & personalities/character) & mood of the society starts building to the story, & makes the events unfold with a deeper understanding of the "whole picture". This episode does the same thing as the beginning of Hardy's book. U build the mood & characters placing Ur readers in the middle of the action. That's not an easy feat to accomplish. I hope Ur young enough to produce life changing literature that makes people understand they must be responsible for their actions, & think & act responsibility. |
| 2019-04-07 22:44:18 | My downward spiral to a becoming a slut Chapter 10 – Thursday’s surprise Menage a trois | As I mentioned earlier, Sara & Liz being on the Varsity Cheerleader Squad, They may have talked; the way Sara seemed experienced in how to kiss & breast feed Tori what kind of action had Sara & Liz shared Sara telling Scott? I agree with most of the comments. Another thing, by these & my own comments being confirmed by additional chapters to the story, that really helps the readers interest (1) to see what happens next and (2) "U see, I was right" Ur talent is just about beyond description Even though it's been years since U've posted these stories, I hope from time to time U go back to see what other comments have been added. Sara appears to feel about Scott as Tori, "I'll do anything he wants to keep him!" He cares for neither one of them, just his own twisted selfish ego & desires. Wouldn't be surprised if one of the mirrors was 2 way & someone there with a camera to playback the 3way with he, Sara & Tori. Excellent writing as usual !! |
| 2019-04-08 00:00:15 | My downward spiral to a becoming a slut Chapter 11 – The best and worst day of her life. | !st, no vote for the last 2 ch. I'll have to vote tomorrow (maybe). Truly, Scott shows everyone the selfish asshole he is. When the DNA is shown to be the coaches, What then? Scott is now "Scott free" as to the rape of Tori. He & her Dad Have been cleared as the perp. Even though he set it up & saw the results of the coaches lovefest. He calls her a SLUT for not fighting. But obviously, HE WON the game !! "Hot Dude" for the coach, team & school. Scumbag for Liz, Sara, & especially Tori Ur story telling is outstanding, awesome &better than cliff hangers. In a "Murder Mystery" all the readers,/watchers want to figure out "Who Done It?" Here the readers want to know "What is going to happen next?" What is Scott going to have done to this child? That's grown up too fast not realizing the cruelty done to her. |
| 2019-04-08 02:46:51 | My downward spiral to a becoming a slut Chapter 14 – The pregnancy come out. | U still show the "heartlessnesss" of Scott & his partner in crime, Mike. Tori is still showing her ignorance by believing Scott to "talk" He can talk over the phone... Can they not do a DNA on the unborn embryo to see who the Impregnator is? If Scott is 18, that's "statutory rape" simply by her age !! What has happened to Liz? That is a cliff hanger !! Where was she when she called Tori earlier? She too is hurting because she "betrayed " Tori, someone she cares about. Ur writing is so awesome, readers get "wrapped up" in the characters... |