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Comments from Dudley Dowrong
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2019-04-25 11:36:23 | A family of Love-Part III | it finally happened! Now the plot thickens more. Will James start using condoms or will Kayla be able to get "on the pill"? Once it starts, it gets out of control. She now has a job, but will a she be able to get a script at her age. Still a few spelling problems like "tonuge"; my computer underlines it as a non-word but as yet doesn't give options. Still trying to figure the setting for that help .I also have a dictionary (hard copy) close at hand that takes more time but less embarrassment of errors. Checking the dictionary, "embarassment" has 2 "r's" instead of 1. I wish they were all that simple to find & fix. Some are just typing errors like "colose" or "thes". Some say "What difference does it make as long as the meaning is there?" Well, to a more "syphisticated" reader it stands out as an error & detracts from the flow & involvement in the story. Couldn't find it in my cheap dictionary....!! Please keep writing. U'll grow. |
| 2019-04-25 12:21:09 | A family of Love-Part IV | From where did the Dad come? I thought he was gone from the house... "Rape" is erotic to the twisted mind of the violator. No sure of my source, but that in certain Middle Eastern Cultures if the infant was a girl, the father had the right to place her in the street abandoned as worthless. That is just another form of "rape" Disregard for the "right to life or standards of an individual".In certain warped minds sex. pain, & abuse (violence) are just one bundle of pleasure. If a dick doesn't get relief, it can be painful, but we men don't want to quit having erections. The goal of a nurturing female personality is to "mother" children, another painful 'side effect" of sex. TO "rj", if U knew how to bring up a list of authors submissions, U'd know there at least 10 more parts/chapters to this series. Use "Search"(far left, 2nd set), Author's name in the text box, Click "name", then "Search". Or enter the title & find it in the list, then click on the author' name |
| 2019-04-25 12:48:54 | A family of Love-Part V | Part of the excitement is to "keep from getting caught" To start & finish faster shortens the possibility of "exposure" Don't think Beth, Mom, or Dad would understand (or forgive) the expression of their love for one another. Beyond most Bro/Sis relationships. See U learned the correct spelling of "orgasim" Still a couple more errors. Keep trying & learn to get better. Talent , U've got; it just needs a little refinement. We are limited to 1M characters so I use shortcuts that I know. "U know?" I hope my comments are encouraging & helpful. Any talent needs to be expanded with constructive criticism, not vulgar "put downs". Keep writing; good luck & good learning, by mistakes or otherwise. |
| 2019-04-25 13:21:53 | A family of Love-Part VI | Today, with welfare, wic, etc., in the USA, unwed girls can get help & the "immoral stigma" is not imposed on them as in the past. D & C was a standard procedure for teens in the 50's & 60's. but it wasn't called abortion because of the stage of the embryo. in '73, "Roe vs Wade" changed all that. Add to that "Free Love" & the "Hippie" mentality of the 60's & 70's, the "Immoral stigma" of an unwed mother isn't as socially unacceptable as then. |
| 2019-04-25 20:38:29 | Double Lovers Pt. I | Now I see where Sequoia got Nikki. Just got stories mixed up. Easy to do.!! Story a little short & I agree that Nikki should have been more involved. Except for Renee, little to no character development or revelation of personality.. !! Even her's was sketchy. Hope U can develop Ur talent to be better, Certain areas show promise. Thank you for submitting Ur work. For the most part it was delightful & I enjoyed it. |