| 2012-09-20 01:06:21 |
Chapter one, Deana Cums for a Visit
|
Things to help you : DO NOT ask your readers to ignore spelling and grammar. This is a site for writers - a specific kind of writer, but WRITERS !! Most obvious error was lack of paragraphs. Make it easier to read by breaking down into bite sized chunks. Too many too short sentences and far to much use of names ie Deanna this and then Deanna that. |
| 2012-09-20 01:10:12 |
Chapter one, Deana Cums for a Visit
|
continuing ; I downloaded your story and then proofed it into a real story format - and Surprise, surprise - It actually wasn't a terrible story. Quite fun actually. With a bit of experience and care with presentation, you COULD become adequate. I'll keep an eye on your writing to see how you progress . . . |
| 2012-09-24 01:55:07 |
Lightening Crashes
|
Jeez, Sometimes I confuse myself. Everything I believe says this story is shit and ATTICUS are a lazy dipshit . . .and I give you a Positive vote. So maybe you are too stupid to know what a paragraph is, and maybe this story is so similar to about five others that I started to think plagiarism, then realised it was too poorly written to be plagiarised, so ANYWAY I enjoyed reading it BUT would enjoy it more if it was written with a bit more care. |
| 2012-09-24 01:57:38 |
Lightening Crashes
|
Jeez, Sometimes I confuse myself. Everything I believe says this story is shit and you, ATTICUS, are a lazy dipshit . . .and I give you a Positive vote. So maybe you are too stupid to know what a paragraph is, and maybe this story is so similar to about five others that I started to think plagiarism, then realised it was too poorly written to be plagiarised, but, ANYWAY I enjoyed reading it, BUT would enjoy it more if it was written with a bit more care. (corrected version) |
| 2012-09-24 02:16:28 |
Another Good Night
|
To the anonymous fuckwit who doesn't believe I have the right to my own opinion, this is a sex site and I LIKE sex. To suggest that deviant stories don't have a link to actual deviancy is childish in the extreme and this is not the place or time to show what a brain dead cretin he is, BUT if he'd like to IM me, I would be happy to try and educate him, difficult though I see that offer to fulfill. |