| 2010-05-05 23:16:25 |
Homecoming_(0)
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Wow depressing... good but depressing... CJ |
| 2010-05-12 03:36:58 |
a truth or dare game changed to sex
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Maybe paragraphs and more coherent thoughts too... I'm not saying its a bad story by any means it could just have gone on longer and been better. At least break it up a little and give us the readers some more description what were you feeling, what did it sound like taste like ect. Just a friendly thought. CJ |
| 2010-05-12 03:41:26 |
a truth or dare game changed to sex
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One more tiny comment... 5000 characters is not really that many my own ongoing series is right at 337 thousand characters.... Make it bigger... bigger is better. CJ |
| 2010-05-12 03:41:34 |
a truth or dare game changed to sex
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Maybe paragraphs and more coherent thoughts too... I'm not saying its a bad story by any means it could just have gone on longer and been better. At least break it up a little and give us the readers some more description what were you feeling, what did it sound like taste like ect. Just a friendly thought. CJ |
| 2010-05-12 21:17:55 |
A Sleepover With Aunt Stephanie
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Great story... Will there be sequels? or is this just a stand alone? |